Eulogy

My demons feed me what I think I need

And I'm blindsighted

Fighting the pressing wall of doubt and fear

Everything's flying around

Where did the sound of the wind go?

You're trying to break me and take me down

But even when you succeed my hope rebounds

This ain't what you want it to be

This plan of yours only comes together in your dreams

Reality's a sucker punch and it's not pretty

And I'm not ready to choke your rules down again

You're what I'm looking for

You mean so much more

But I've somehow become comfortably numb

Mistakenly resigned to what I can't afford

It's been said I'm scared and life was never fair

Wishing this dream was a cycle of what I wish could be there

I'm not invincible and I'm scared

I'm not the hero and I'm completely unprepared

You got me like you always do

Confused and wrapped around myself

Sure that I've lost everything I could possibly lose

This means more than ever before

And I'll make sure this time I lose

To prove that I was honest

To show myself what I could never lose

Always, you

Never a time when you were a lie

And now I sit inside the place that was once covered in a shell

And wait for the rain to come again